Sorries xDDDD I can't believe I put it off that long. Nope, it didn't take me two hours--all I remember is that at the time I promised to review, I had a lot of tabs open, so I think I must have gone somewhere else. Then I closed everything in one sweep because I was being chased away (by my tyrant parents xD).
Alright, now to get down to something I should have done a long long while ago.
First thing is that I like your title. I think it's a reference to another fanfic on this site, which I haven't read yet. In that case both titles are good. The fullstops-between-letters is just pretty, yes.
For this story, the grasp of language is practically flawless; I can't complain about technical matters because there's nothing wrong with the writing itself. You have good descriptions of images and weather and other sensory input, in addition, and that makes the experience nicely vivid. As far as I know, the only thing I should mention is that using multiple exclamation marks (!!!) tends to give a rather unpleasant feeling, even in semi-informal writing like this; I'm not sure if anyone else feels the same way though. Some people complain about words in all caps.
Something random I noticed:
"The other figure was in a much worse state...(a lot of description)...It was said that when the Black Wizard died, its energy separated into many pieces after his demise, turning into Chaos Weapons. If used in the right hands, it could be deadly.
Suddenly, Robin sat up, shaking his head."
Starting a paragraph with "Suddenly" right after a bulk of description gives the reader no point of reference--what were they doing before something "suddenly" happened? I know you mentioned what they were doing in the first sentence of the story, but for the sake of the flow and continuity of reading, you should mention it again. Basically link the events properly. In this case, you could mention more actions performed Hikaru and Robin, e.g. poking at the fire, eating something, something that reminds the reader of where the characters are and what they're doing.
More hints on why Robin departed would be nice too. For the count, I liked the part where Hikaru was remembering his battle with Chobbi Light/Gyzen (?) very much, if only for two sentences.
"vessel"--vassal or vessel? A vassal is a servant, and a vessel is a container. Which one you intended, I'm not really sure, but both work in this context so I'm just checking.
As for characters: Somehow, they haven't solidified yet. I can remember individuals, but mainly by name. The only ones vivid enough for me to maintain a flavour of them in mind are the twins (cough familiarity cough), who seem more edgy than the rest . If I'm reading the comments correctly, these characters are shared among a few people. There's this problem, thus, that you seem to only be accommodating readers who already know who the characters are. You introduced a sizable number of characters in this chapter, and most of them only had their appearances and attire described, without much mention of personality.
To me, if you want a reader to remember a character well from first mention, you should describe a character, emphasising traits in this order: personality (often from facial expression, if you're not writing from the character's POV--smirking? gazing pensively? responses to other people?) > appearance (mentioning most prominently the features that make this person stand out from others) > attire (least, usually characters change their attire, so this doesn't figure in the reader's impression that heavily).
Weapons/tools of the trade are good to include, especially if they show the person's occupation or mark the person out from others. I can see you have done that, which is great.
As for storyline, I'm seeing generic epic fantasy themes coming out (is it just me or do certain parts look a little familiar? xDDD) and a lot of fertile ground for plots, though not much of it has begun yet.
Final comment: I LOVE SHARENIAN
WRITE MOAR ABOUT IT PLZZZZFinal comment 2: Oh Zaylo? I know him! Reviewed one of his fics on FanFiction.net before. His writing is really cool.
