Page 1 of 1

The maple forbidden powers chapter 1 the beginning

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 6:53 pm
by chobbilight
The maple Forbidden Powers
Chapter 1: The Begining



chobbi was at home when he heard his friend jay calling whit a megafoon "chobbi i found it come you lazy b*stard"
sow chobbi used flash jump 2 perion and saw his friend and asked "show me it i wanna c it"

jay opened the bag and when he opened he sayed "i stole it from grandma in henesys"
then chobbi looked inside and saw those cookies and sayed "wth i though you had the Dragon Purple Sleve"
and jay answerred "it is at the bottom you fool, you know its illegal in MS to use a godly Dragon Purple Sleve"
chobbi was amazed and asked "what are the stats of this piece of art??"
jay looked around him ad sayed "whe it was clean it was 60 weapon attack andit had 10 luk and 13 Avoidability and when the guy scrolled it then it changed from purple 2 gold and the stats are now 90 weapon attack and 20 luk 19 Avoidability"
chobbi took the dragon godly sleve in his hands and did it around his hands and sayed "this feels great. it feels like i'm immortal" but then chobbi changed his black skin turned red ,his black wind style hair turned yellow, his bleu eyes turned red, his smile turned into a angry face and chobbi sayed "you mortal will bow for me!!!"
then jay pulled the dragon godly sleve of chobbi's hand
chobbi fell onconcious and jay brought him home and at the jay equipped the dragon godly sleve and turned evil but there was nobody who could pull the dragon godly sleve of and jay began to destroy citys

the next day when chobbi woke up he had a headdick and he took a shower ans brushed his teeth then he heard jay's voice in his head "chobbi help me i'm waerring the dragon godly sleve but i cant control my body i'm trapped inside it, HELP ME!! i'm scared"
chobbi didn't know what happened and went to TheCookienater and sayed "brian help me save jay"
brian was making his breakfast and sayed "what happened to jay??"
chobbi didn't want to tell brian but he wanted to save jay and sayed "well we scrolled this dragon purple sleve but when you were it it makes you evil and strong"
brian first thought he was joking but then he saw chobbi infront of his door and sayed "wth happened to your hair and eyes??"
chobbi didn't know what brian was talking about sow brian took a mirror and showed it to chobbi chobbi was confused he was black but hs hair was jellow and his eyes were red before then his hair was black and his eyes were bleu and he had black wings!!

wth happened to him!!!

Stay Tuned For More Adventure

Re: The maple forbidden powers chapter 1 the beginning

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 8:49 pm
by synn90210
wow........it was a good idea just wasnt pulled off well. Too many grammar errors and spelling errors. Also you dont want to abbreviate whenever you write a story

Re: The maple forbidden powers chapter 1 the beginning

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 11:39 pm
by chobbilight
you know what the reason is from those grammar and spelling errors? its cause i aint english and i dont pay attention to english class

Re: The maple forbidden powers chapter 1 the beginning

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 11:46 pm
by Zaylo
0-0 either i need glasses or you need to learn spelling

Re: The maple forbidden powers chapter 1 the beginning

Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 11:47 pm
by chobbilight
ill use a dictionary next chapter

Re: The maple forbidden powers chapter 1 the beginning

Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 2:10 am
by LeoWu
umm.... well.... I guess its ok The idea seems good though.

Re: The maple forbidden powers chapter 1 the beginning

Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 12:40 pm
by chobbilight
ty leowu

Re: The maple forbidden powers chapter 1 the beginning

Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 5:39 pm
by LeoWu
xD do you mean that in a nice way or mean way? (F6)

Re: The maple forbidden powers chapter 1 the beginning

Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 6:06 pm
by chobbilight
nice way

Re: The maple forbidden powers chapter 1 the beginning

Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 8:13 pm
by jonlin
lol, this is the same thing 0.o (as the other post

anyways, refer to the other version which is the exact same for sugestions.

Re: The maple forbidden powers chapter 1 the beginning

Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 6:59 am
by chobbilight
no now i'm rlly starting to writ the next chapter and thats The Maple Forbidden Powers Chapter 2 The Spirit Of Jay? wednesday or friday it will be done

Re: The maple forbidden powers chapter 1 the beginning

Posted: Sun May 31, 2009 12:19 am
by jonlin
lol good then. WHY DID YOU POST FIRST CHAPTER TWICE?!?!

Re: The maple forbidden powers chapter 1 the beginning

Posted: Sun May 31, 2009 12:45 am
by chobbilight
lolz i made a mistake.......i wanted 2 place a preview at the other 1

Re: The maple forbidden powers chapter 1 the beginning

Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 2:01 am
by poke1024
seriously, the spelling (F3)