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Guard chapter 1

Posted: Wed Dec 02, 2009 7:54 am
by stng75
A large room.
No windows.
One door.
In the room was a crowd all wearing the same uniform, helmet, which covered their faces, and a single silver shoulder plate on the arm they handled a weapon with.
There in the crowd, a teenage boy and girl talked, oblivious to the others.

"What if they make us all use the same kind of weapon, or any basic ones?" asked the girl.

The boy took a small throwing knife and pair of purple-green like battle gloves.

"They'll have to pry it from my cold, lifeless hands!" exclaimed the boy.

"First day on the job and already going to be fired." chukled the girl.

Before the boy could speak a man burst in the room from the one doorway.

"Line up!" the man yelled.

The entire crowd formed 3 rows in only a matter of seconds, to afraid to disobey.

"So you all want to be a soldier in Guard?" the man asked in a booming voice.

No one answered.

"I said, DO YOU ALL WANT TO BE PART OF GUARD!" the man yelled.

"S-sir." the boy said in almost a whisper.

The man walked to him.

"What's your name?"

"L-lance sir..." the boy said, as he quickly turned to the girl.

The man's head shot to the girl's position.

"And yours?"

"My n-name is L-lilith..." pronounced the girl.

The man stepped back.

"Take off your helmets!"

Slowly the two took off their helmets. The girl, Lilith, had a kind face and beautiful, long brown hair. The boy , Lance, had a slightly more serious face and brown hair that covered his neck.

"Are you two related?"

"Twins." said Lilith.

"I see."

The man stepped back and withdrew his hands to his back. Suddenly he attacked them, one sword in each hand. The twins grabbed the blades with both of their hands, nearly avoiding injury.

"I see you two can block attacks just well."

The man started to the front of the room. When he had reached he began to speak.

"My name is Matthews, Guard class A," the man said. " You will all be sent on individual missions to tests your abilities. A Guard class A or B will accompany you, and report all of you work back to us. Know go into the hallway to get your special Guard cellular, or referred to as 'GoC'."

The crowd began for the door when Matthews spoke again.

"I almost forgot, if you see a man with black attire, and a mask, please refrain from talking to him"

"Why?" asked one of the crowd.

"Becuase he might hurt you."

No one laughed, they knew this was not a joke.

*******************************************************************************************************************************************

Alright guys first chapter
So I'll make some more later
And I'll fix this up if any problems

Re: Guard chapter 1

Posted: Wed Dec 02, 2009 12:36 pm
by pvtsharp
Why the heck this reminds me of Crisis Core?

Maybe it's the name. GUARD, sounds like SOLDIER eh?

Re: Guard chapter 1

Posted: Wed Dec 02, 2009 1:57 pm
by EmberSparks
but crisis core pwns.
and that guy in the mask... Zaylo?

Re: Guard chapter 1

Posted: Wed Dec 02, 2009 2:33 pm
by stng75
Ya I was playing crisis core when I came up with this

And I'm not saying if it's zaylo or not

Re: Guard chapter 1

Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2009 10:00 am
by EmberSparks
Zaylo is SEPHIROTH LOL O_O

Re: Guard chapter 1

Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2009 3:04 pm
by stng75
im not gonna copy crisis core ember
i just took a few parts

Re: Guard chapter 1

Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2009 6:56 pm
by yowza
stng75 wrote:Ya I was playing crisis core when I came up with this

And I'm not saying if it's zaylo or not


I knew it! (F5)

Re: Guard chapter 1

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2009 1:50 am
by stng75
im just waiting for zayzay to say its good... (F5)

Re: Guard chapter 1

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2009 3:27 am
by LeoWu
That wont happen. Period.

Re: Guard chapter 1

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2009 4:19 am
by stng75
I don't care if u don't like it

Re: Guard chapter 1

Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2009 10:39 am
by EmberSparks
we don't need your opinion, thanks

Re: Guard chapter 1

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 8:37 am
by LeoWu
Lol I Know you dont.
But that wasnt an opinion.
That was an Fact.
I know Zaylo.
Hes the type of guy who wont
comment on this FF.
Unless you write it terrible.
And your writing skills so far doesn't
prove that your good enough to waste his time.

Dont worry i wont give you my "opinion"
Ember and Stng guy.
Ember your probally gonna get flamed by Zaylo.
His is probably enough for you.

P.S and I never said I didnt like it.
All I said was he's not gonna Say its
Good.
Cause its not...

Re: Guard chapter 1

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 9:31 am
by EmberSparks
So you like it but it's not good???? @_@

Re: Guard chapter 1

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 6:20 pm
by LeoWu
Shure i like it.
Some thing wrong?

Re: Guard chapter 1

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 8:07 pm
by stng75
ucant relly like somethingni u say it's bad

Re: Guard chapter 1

Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 11:44 pm
by LeoWu
bad means 4 things.
Bad storyline.
Bad Grammer, Editing.
Bad description
and last but no least
Bad Extra features.
if the Features are good and
the rest are terrible.
it is still Bad.
O_O
You get it?

Re: Guard chapter 1

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 10:50 am
by EmberSparks
oooookay......... weird, but I understand.....

Re: Guard chapter 1

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 10:40 pm
by LeoWu
doesn't seem like you do.

Re: Guard chapter 1

Posted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 4:18 am
by stng75
How can u tell the storyline if the first chapter is basically only talking
I did spelling right and I know I messed up on commas etc.
I dunno bout description
And WTF r features?

Re: Guard chapter 1

Posted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 7:44 am
by pvtsharp
[quote="stng75"]How can u tell the storyline if the first chapter is basically only talking[quote]

My FF also basically talking. But it's quite good.... compared to mine......

But the more I read it the more i feel like it's related to crisis core.