Maplestory

I really don't know.. I just wrote this and i wanna know your opinion on it, it is good? be honest
tell me whats wrong with it and whats good about it

Soveliss and Jin rushed in through the darkened colossal doors as they swung shut, "ahahaha, you've made it just in time my old friends!" laughed Brayan as his guards surrounded Soveliss and his Apprentice. Jin smirked as he replied "well, I did make a promise you know, and i don't break promises" Soveliss was about to join in on the conversation, but he was cut short after a large hammer came thrusting downwards above him and was smashed into the ground just after Soveliss leaped backwards out of harms way. "Guards, they just don't know how to die do they? give them a quick lesson on it and don't make a mess" said Brayan while he turned his back to walk out the door. Jin estimated around fourteen guards, and told himself they where all going to be lieing dead on the floor in less then five seconds. He shared this thought with Soveliss, he just smiled and replied "I bet i can kill more." Jin laughed and said back to him, "You're on."

i cant read it
ill translate this in leowu's langauge: aahh!! my eyes are bleeding
now in zaylo's langauge: ill lock it because its so small
now in jonlin's langauge: ugg use something

My eyes ARE bleeding. I'm sorry. please use good writing next time or I will lock it

like my combination?

no you used all of them

its a simple no, don't gonna be a d*ck about it

No!
No no no no no no no no...
and so on! O_O

oh dear sweet jesus. i wondered when leo would get to this

damnit synn, are these people retarded?

Retarded.
Pfft! Haha.
Nice one.
I admire you Humor.

But seriously.
Shut up.