Knights of Cydonia chapter 1
I hear the sounds of hard, heavy feet stepping below me along with the sound of blades parrying upon each other and bolts being fired out of long crossbows. I look across my body and I see the blood stains and arrows that have penetrated through my body, as I bleed and bleed I hear my name being called in the distant.
Celion! Celion!
It gets louder and louder as if my walking into the area in which I hear this voice shouting out at me. I keep hearing my name being called louder and louder until I hear the words “look out” as if I’m being warned about something, I look to my every corner left, right, and front views have nothing in sight that can be classified as a threat until I look behind me and there seems to be a glowing light getting closer and closer to me... I wait for the image to be clearer to see until I realise a glowing arrow closing in at me at amazing speed. Behind it there seems to be a glowing gold tail floating out of the back end of the arrow, I try to dodge as fast as I can but I was too slow. The arrow jabs straight through my leg and into the ground leaving me crippled. As I tried to break loose the glowing arrow I realize to the right corner of my eye there’s another light. My instincts told me it was another arrow coming straight for me. As it is closing in on me I finally come to the sense that I’m going to die so I ask myself, is this the end? Is this where I die?
As I am shot with this glowing arrow I scream with pain. Then my sight is blurred and everything turns black.
14 years earlier...
Celion! Wake up!
I hear as I open my eyes only to see my father standing in front of my hammock.
Get out of bed boy! You’ve got training to do.
To be continued... Please rate 1/10 please
Knights of Cydonia chapter 1
Last edited by nublet on Fri Aug 21, 2009 2:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Knights of Cydonia chapter 1
UUUUEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGG
i need a towel, i just jizzed myself.. awesomeRe: Knights of Cydonia chapter 1
Tank you very much i really appretiate it btw pls rate from 1-10
Re: Knights of Cydonia chapter 1
nublet wrote:Knights of Cydonia chapter 1
I hear the sounds of hard, heavy feet stepping below me along with the sound of blades parrying upon each other and bolts being fired out of long crossbows. I look across my body and I see the blood stains and arrows that have penetrated through my body, as I bleed and bleed I hear my name being called in the distant.
Celion! Celion!
It gets louder and louder as if my walking into the area in which I hear this voice shouting out at me. I keep hearing my name being called louder and louder until I hear the words “look out” as if I’m being warned about something, I look to my every corner left, right, and front views have nothing in sight that can be classified as a threat until I look behind me and there seems to be a glowing light getting closer and closer to me... I wait for the image to be clearer to see until I realise a glowing arrow closing in at me at amazing speed. Behind it there seems to be a glowing gold tail floating out of the back end of the arrow, I try to dodge as fast as I can but I was too slow. The arrow jabs straight through my leg and into the ground leaving me crippled. As I tried to break loose the glowing arrow I realize to the right corner of my eye there’s another light. My instincts told me it was another arrow coming straight for me. As it is closing in on me I finally come to the sense that I’m going to die so I ask myself, is this the end? Is this where I die?
As I am shot with this glowing arrow I scream with pain. Then my sight is blurred and everything turns black.
14 years earlier...
Celion! Wake up!
I hear as I open my eyes only to see my father standing in front of my hammock.
Get out of bed boy! You’ve got training to do.
To be continued... Please rate 1/10 please
You need Quotation marks. The spelling and story is much better though. However a lot of it was redundant.
4/10 its much better then your other fail but you still have a ways to go.
Also make it longer. Make 1 long chapter a week
Re: Knights of Cydonia chapter 1
Rofl Zaylo.First time I see you posting in a fan fiction and not closing it.
Re: Knights of Cydonia chapter 1
your threads will be continually locked until quotation marks are used.