The Four Warriors-Chapter2

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Lucario7777777
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The Four Warriors-Chapter2

Post by Lucario7777777 » Sun Jul 19, 2009 2:01 am

Chapter2
The warriors started leaving.
“Wait up,” Logan said.
They left the town. They right the town. They went left. They went right. They went backwards. They went forwards. They went up. They went down. They ran into a person. He was sitting there and looked like an angel.
“Who are you?” Logan asked.
“That depends on who you are,” the person replied.
“We’re the four warriors,” Logan said.
“Oh, in that case I am the person to lead you to your master,” the person replied. “Okay,” Logan said.
They went back towards the way they came and passed town.
“So we went the completely wrong way?” Logan asked.
“Yes,” the person said.
They went left, right, up, down, forward, and backwards. After two hours of walking they finally saw a building.
“That’s where your master is,” the person said. “I will not follow you in, but all you do is walk in and go up the elevator to the top floor. Then go up the stairs to the top. Then go up the other elevator to then top then…”
“Let me guess,” Logan said.
“That’s right walk up to the throne,” the person said.
They walked up to the building.
They went inside and looked for the elevator. They found it after fifteen minutes. They got in and pushed the button for the top floor. To reach it they had to stand on top of each other. They waited in it for twenty minutes then they started talking. Logan talked first.
He asked, “So, I know we won’t remember our current names but I’m Logan. What are your names?”
“I’m Yoshi,” the one replied.
“I’m Louie,” another said.
“I’m….. Tails” the last replied scared.
The elevator was halfway to the top.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Last edited by Lucario7777777 on Mon Jul 20, 2009 12:53 am, edited 1 time in total.

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poke1024
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Re: The Four Warriors-Chapter2

Post by poke1024 » Sun Jul 19, 2009 2:28 am

Lucario7777777 wrote:Chapter2
The warriors started leaving. “Wait up,” Logan said. They left the town. They right the town. They went left. They went right. They went backwards. They went forwards. They went up. They went down. They ran into a person. He was sitting there and looked like an angel. “Who are you?” Logan asked. “That depends on who you are,” the person replied. “We’re the four warriors,” Logan said. “Oh, in that case I am the person to lead you to your master,” the person replied. “Okay,” Logan said. They went back towards the way they came and passed town. “So we went the completely wrong way?” Logan asked. “Yes,” the person said.
They went left, right, up, down, forward, and backwards. After two hours of walking they finally saw a building. “That’s where your master is,” the person said. “I will not follow you in, but all you do is walk in and go up the elevator to the top floor. Then go up the stairs to the top. Then go up the other elevator to then top then…” “Let me guess,” Logan said. “That’s right walk up to the throne,” the person said. They walked up to the building.
They went inside and looked for the elevator. They found it after fifteen minutes. They got in and pushed the button for the top floor. To reach it they had to stand on top of each other. They waited in it for twenty minutes then they started talking. Logan talked first. He asked, “So, I know we won’t remember our current names but I’m Logan. What are your names?” “I’m Yoshi,” the one replied. “I’m Louie,” another said. “I’m….. Tails” the last replied scared. The elevator was halfway to the top.

TO BE CONTINUED...

countinue some more

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Lucario7777777
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Re: The Four Warriors-Chapter2

Post by Lucario7777777 » Sun Jul 19, 2009 5:54 pm

I will in a new topic. I already have chps.3-6 ready. If i posted them now, it would take forever to get chp.7 up.

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LeoWu
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Re: The Four Warriors-Chapter2

Post by LeoWu » Sun Jul 19, 2009 8:38 pm

I am disappointed in you for not taking the advice we gave you in your
last post i will say it again.
Please stop posting.
To be honest your writing is not at a average
level yet. its very low right now.
Please stop and Get better. Then start posting.
Thank you.
I read the first few sentences i wont
bother to read more.

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Lucario7777777
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Re: The Four Warriors-Chapter2

Post by Lucario7777777 » Mon Jul 20, 2009 12:51 am

I took the advice. I just forgot to update the posts.

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synn90210
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Re: The Four Warriors-Chapter2

Post by synn90210 » Mon Jul 20, 2009 1:03 am

i do believe im going to cry....i mean really yoshi? and tails? tell me what sane person would name their child that. just please take leo's advice or just stop writing completely. go ahead hate me for my criticism. it'll help you get better at writing

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Lucario7777777
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Re: The Four Warriors-Chapter2

Post by Lucario7777777 » Mon Jul 20, 2009 1:05 am

I named them for viedo game characters. Their names change later, anyway.

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Re: The Four Warriors-Chapter2

Post by synn90210 » Mon Jul 20, 2009 1:16 am

change to what miles and annoying green dinosaur? go to the website that zaylo posted in his guide for names. im going to be using it on my next story for sure (didnt have it up when i started)

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Lucario7777777
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Re: The Four Warriors-Chapter2

Post by Lucario7777777 » Mon Jul 20, 2009 1:28 am

U have to read the other chapters to find out their names. They are better.

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LeoWu
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Re: The Four Warriors-Chapter2

Post by LeoWu » Mon Jul 20, 2009 5:35 am

Wow I'm getting really Frustrated.
I hear so many people that posts
FF that arnt at Average level yet
and when i tell them that they
Always say

"they will get better in the next chapters"

LIKE OMG.
THEY WILL NOT GET BETTER.
By the looks of your story.
Your writing level
is not EVEN
near Average.
If you wanna Write agian,
Send it to my email i will expand
for you then send it to Zaylo, Pokes,
or Jonlin and ask them to edit
for you. They will gladly do it.
uhh take off Zaylo, Jonlin would
gladly do it.
You gotta learn.


Decided, Commited, Succeeded
Thats my Moto
DCS

Good luck remeber to Think
about waht i have just said.
Thanks :)

Email-Super-ape@hotmail.com

i know the Email name has just
too much mustard on it :P

but i bet playa is probally gonna
say something about this :P
Anyways Jonlins email is on his post
where he said he would
edit FF for people.
You could ask for pokes
email.
Although I will edit alot for you.
Dont worry

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jonlin
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Re: The Four Warriors-Chapter2

Post by jonlin » Mon Jul 20, 2009 9:17 pm

uhhh you could just post and asked to be added to the editor's list in my thread......?

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LeoWu
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Re: The Four Warriors-Chapter2

Post by LeoWu » Tue Jul 21, 2009 5:02 am

Who me?
0.0 you kidding?

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