Slightly Twisted Angels Chapter 3

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PandaBearz13
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Slightly Twisted Angels Chapter 3

Post by PandaBearz13 » Thu May 13, 2010 12:46 am

Slightly Twisted Angels Chapter 3

Ring, Ring! The alarm went off. Skulls turned it off and woke up. She looked at the clock that said 8:00 A.M. Skulls looked at it with wide eyes. She only had 13 minutes to get ready and get to school! Skulls rushed downstairs and found that a lunch was already made for her by Mir so she rushed back upstairs and put her clothes on and did all that stuff while looking at the clock now and then it was 8:08 by the time she was about done.

She thought to herself "Knowing how to teleport would be really great right now!" She ran downstairs and put a donut in her mouth and ran out for school. By the time she got to school it was 8:11. Mir met up with Skulls while they went to class. And smirked saying "slow poke."

During class, Skulls couldn't shake this feeling that she was forgetting something. Then it hit her. "I FORGOT MY LUNCH!!!" Skulls shouted in her mind. For the rest of the period she just laid on the desk with her hands stretched out and closed her eyes.

Skulls followed Mir to her locker. Mir got her lunch out and as she closed her locker she saw Skulls with huge beady eyes and a frowning mouth that was most definitely shouting "please feed me..." Mir sighed and said "Okay you can have some of my food." Skulls squeezed her eyes and put her hands in the air saying "Yay!" After lunch Mir asked Skulls what really happened yesterday with the smashed wall and stuff.

Skulls knew her friend wouldn't understand so she just made something up saying "Well you know the guy got a text from a friend asking him to meet him back at the house 'cause he was sick and stuff..." Mir looked like she kind of believe what Skulls was saying. "And the wall..." Skulls didn't even know what to say then, it wasn't like she could say "Oh, the guys was trying to kill me." Skulls tried to think of something that could be a little believable. So Skulls just said "Well that really was there before I got there." Mir decided that this could be true and let it go.

After school Mir's mother was at the front door of the house. Mir ran up to her mother. Mir's mother whose name was Allen told Mir that she had already got a small house for them to live in for the year. Allen told Mir that she would pick her up tomorrow. And that Skulls could come to spend the day and help them move in. Skulls said that it would be nice especially because it would be a Saturday.

Mir stayed outside to talk with her mom while Skulls went in the house. When Skulls got upstairs she saw a note. A reply from the note that she had sent the day before. The note had replied saying "Meet me at the old cathedral in Ehel in 1 hour.

"But I dunno how to teleport!" Skulls said aloud. Then she caught in her eye tiny writing that said "Don't worry about teleporting I got it." Skulls finished reading it and had an annoyed look on her face.

An hour later a teleport opened and Skulls walked in. And then it opened on the ceiling of the cathedral. Skulls noticed this as she fell. She landed on the ground "safely" but broke some of the floor boards. "Oops..." Skulls said looking at the hole she had made in the floor. Skulls didn't see anyone. She looked around a bit more.

Then she saw a girl sitting on a bench. She looked about 13 years old. Because it was in the night and she was in the shadows it was hard to see her. But it was clear her eyes were closed. "H-Hello...?" Skulls asked. The girl got off the bench and walked toward Skulls. "Hi, I'm Axi." She said while holding our her hand and opening her eyes. Axi was pale and had long hair in curled pigtails with 2 bows. She was wearing an outfit that was black and had bells at the end. And her eyes were white!

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Zaylo
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Re: Slightly Twisted Angels Chapter 3

Post by Zaylo » Mon May 17, 2010 5:47 am

More descriptio needed and it should be longer. It's fairly good so far.

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CoolKid
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Re: Slightly Twisted Angels Chapter 3

Post by CoolKid » Mon May 31, 2010 4:37 pm

man what happened to you zay

i like it
PART 4
PART4
PART 4

PandaBearz13
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Re: Slightly Twisted Angels Chapter 3

Post by PandaBearz13 » Thu Jun 03, 2010 7:04 pm

Thnx XD I've having my sibling edit the 4th part when I'm done cuz she says it sucks (eek)

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jonlin
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Re: Slightly Twisted Angels Chapter 3

Post by jonlin » Sat Jun 05, 2010 2:04 am

lol, isn't she nice :P

"fairly good, try making a break in the" #1 said

"paragraphs after each person is done talking, it makes things much" #2 said

"easier to understand for the reader." #3 said.

Also, having a proofreader go over it is a very good idea, as they may catch mistakes or awkward phrasings that you did not.

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EternalSorrow
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Re: Slightly Twisted Angels Chapter 3

Post by EternalSorrow » Sat Jun 12, 2010 2:46 am

jonlin wrote:lol, isn't she nice :P

"fairly good, try making a break in the" #1 said

"paragraphs after each person is done talking, it makes things much" #2 said

"easier to understand for the reader." #3 said.

Also, having a proofreader go over it is a very good idea, as they may catch mistakes or awkward phrasings that you did not.

I agree with jonlin, ask someone to read it first then edit it

PandaBearz13
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Re: Slightly Twisted Angels Chapter 3

Post by PandaBearz13 » Mon Aug 09, 2010 4:56 am

I need help i have questions on Mabinogi if you play Mabinogi plz answer the questions =3

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