The Chronicles Of Arcana : Chapter 3

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pvtsharp
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The Chronicles Of Arcana : Chapter 3

Postby pvtsharp » Sat Mar 06, 2010 4:19 am

*Stretches back* OK, let's start working on it.

Registration
Chapter 1
Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Draco and Kite were falling down... down... down....

"Ow!" shouted Draco as he landed to the floor. Kite also landed right beside him.

"What the..." said Draco as he stood up. "Whoa...."

The sky was red with black clouds. Kite and Draco were on some kind of platform. It was foggy and they couldn't see anything downwards, the only thing they could see was the eerie sky.

"Erm....." Draco was stunned, he never thought the glitch could lead to this. And the 1st thing he said to Kite was: "How do we get out of here?"

Kite shook his head.

"Damn! Shouldn't have tried that glitch." shouted Draco. "We better find a way out before-"

Draco stopped at mid-sentence. Some of the fog had cleared and there was a doorway right beside them.

"That wasn't there a minute ago." said Draco. "Let's try it, it's better than being stuck here."

They entered the doorway and they saw Henesys High, or a very bloody version of it. The roof was stained with blood. Some structures were broken. Draco stood in front of it with his mouth gaping open.

"SCHOOL?" shouted Draco. "We better find a way out, come on Kite-"

He stopped again as he heard a voice coming from nowhere, and everywhere.

"Why do these students have to come into my life? They are a darn nuisance! I hope they all perish!"

"Wait a minute.. that's Professor Gred's voice." exclaimed Draco. "You know the one that died at school. But it cant be.... she was a kind teacher. How could she say such a thing?"

Just as he finished talking he was knocked sideways by something. After knocking down Draco, the creature started attacking Draco.

"LEMME -OUCH- GO!" shouted Draco as Kite ran forwards to help Draco. After few minutes of struggling, Kite was pinning down the creature. It was a pure white wolf which was slightly smaller in size. And it was talking.

"Weak shadows, let me go!" said the wolf in a girl's voice. "Hey wait, your not a shadow...."

Feeling that the danger has passed, Kite let go.

"What are you?" said the wolf.

"We're humans for your information." said Draco as he cracked his knuckles. "And why did you attack me"

"I thought you were a shadow so I attacked you." said the wolf in shame.

"What's a shadow?" asked Kite.

"They are beings created from the Darkness." explained the wolf. "Oh ya! My name in Ezo, what's yours?"

"I'm Draco and he's Kite." said Draco.

'It's a long time since any humans came here. Last one was the female teacher who got killed by her own shadow." said Ezo.

"Killed by her own shadow?" asked Draco.

"Yes, humans that have suppressed egos will normally meet their doom here." explained Ezo. "Their suppressed egos turn into shadows that will kill the original person if they don't accept the shadow as part of them."

"OK, enough explaining, now tell u show to get out of here and I may spare you." said Draco.

"Maybe you should stop acting cool." said a voice from behind them. All three of them turned towards the source of the voice and they saw..... another Draco.

"Shocked? You should be." said the other-Draco.

"Who are you?" asked Draco.

"I am you." answered the other-Draco simply. Behind the lenses of the sunglasses that Draco wears, the other-Draco has blood red eyes.

'Its a shadow." said Ezo in fear.

"Yes, I may be a shadow. But I am the true me. You-" The shadow pointed his finger to Draco. "Are just the outer layer. You want to be cool so that others will admire you, right? And what's about all the hairdo and the glasses? You are just a show off."

"No, that's not true...." said Draco while clutching his head. "YOU ARE NOT ME!"

At these words, Draco collapsed and Kite went beside him. The shadow gave out an eerie laugh.

"He will no longer be required. I will dispose of this fake myself." said the shadow as blue coloured flames surrounded his feet.

"AHAHAHAHA!" Laughed the shadow as the blue flames enveloped it. When the flames died down, it turned into a giant metallic red lion.

"Goodbye, self!" said the shadow in an almighty voice. It raised its paw showing massive claws.

"It wont end like this!" said Kite. A card appeared and floated in front of him.

"I call upon thee to lend me power!" shouted Kite as he crushed the card with his hand. The fragments of the card flew behind Kite and formed to a figure. It had blue messy hair, it was wearing a red coloured mask, it had black wings sprouting from its back, it was wearing black coloured battle armour. In its hand was a giant crescent pole arm.

"I am thou, and thou art I. I am Masker of the Fool." said the figure as it floated behind Kite, who stood there in a punching pose. "I shall accompany thou still the end."

"Is that.... a Persona?" said Ezo.

"Masker." Kite pointed his finger towards the shadow-Draco. "Cleave!"

To be continued......

Credits:

Kite, Ezo - Self generated characters
Draco - Dracoplasm

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steveking99
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Re: The Chronicles Of Arcana : Chapter 3

Postby steveking99 » Sat Mar 06, 2010 4:53 am

I like the way how this FF makes sense*points fingers*

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pvtsharp
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Re: The Chronicles Of Arcana : Chapter 3

Postby pvtsharp » Sat Mar 06, 2010 4:54 am

steveking99 wrote:I like the way how this FF makes sense*points fingers*


haha (skygar9-1)

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playa4life01
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Re: The Chronicles Of Arcana : Chapter 3

Postby playa4life01 » Sat Mar 06, 2010 10:49 am

there are a few typos in it but yea nobodys parfact xP

9/10

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Zaylo
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Re: The Chronicles Of Arcana : Chapter 3

Postby Zaylo » Sat Mar 06, 2010 4:22 pm

pvtsharp wrote:*Stretches back* OK, let's start working on it.

Registration
Chapter 1
Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Draco and Kite were falling down... down... down....

"Ow!" shouted Draco as he landed to the floor. Kite also landed right beside him.

"What the..." said Draco as he stood up. "Whoa...."

The sky was red with black clouds. Kite and Draco were on some kind of platform. It was foggy and they couldn't see anything downwards, the only thing they could see was the eerie sky.

"Erm....." Draco was stunned, he never thought the glitch could lead to this. And the 1st thing he said to Kite was: "How do we get out of here?"

Kite shook his head.

"Damn! Shouldn't have tried that glitch." shouted Draco. "We better find a way out before-"

Draco stopped at mid-sentence. Some of the fog had cleared and there was a doorway right beside them.

"That wasn't there a minute ago." said Draco. "Let's try it, it's better than being stuck here."

They entered the doorway and they saw Henesys High, or a very bloody version of it. The roof was stained with blood. Some structures were broken. Draco stood in front of it with his mouth gaping open.

"SCHOOL?" shouted Draco. "We better find a way out, come on Kite-"

He stopped again as he heard a voice coming from nowhere, and everywhere.

"Why do these students have to come into my life? They are a darn nuisance! I hope they all perish!"

"Wait a minute.. that's Professor Gred's voice." exclaimed Draco. "You know the one that died at school. But it cant be.... she was a kind teacher. How could she say such a thing?"

Just as he finished talking he was knocked sideways by something. After knocking down Draco, the creature started attacking Draco.

"LEMME -OUCH- GO!" shouted Draco as Kite ran forwards to help Draco. After few minutes of struggling, Kite was pinning down the creature. It was a pure white wolf which was slightly smaller in size. And it was talking.

"Weak shadows, let me go!" said the wolf in a girl's voice. "Hey wait, your not a shadow...."

Feeling that the danger has passed, Kite let go.

"What are you?" said the wolf.

"We're humans for your information." said Draco as he cracked his knuckles. "And why did you attack me"

"I thought you were a shadow so I attacked you." said the wolf in shame.

"What's a shadow?" asked Kite.

"They are beings created from the Darkness." explained the wolf. "Oh ya! My name in Ezo, what's yours?"

"I'm Draco and he's Kite." said Draco.

'It's a long time since any humans came here. Last one was the female teacher who got killed by her own shadow." said Ezo.

"Killed by her own shadow?" asked Draco.

"Yes, humans that have suppressed egos will normally meet their doom here." explained Ezo. "Their suppressed egos turn into shadows that will kill the original person if they don't accept the shadow as part of them."

"OK, enough explaining, now tell u show to get out of here and I may spare you." said Draco.

"Maybe you should stop acting cool." said a voice from behind them. All three of them turned towards the source of the voice and they saw..... another Draco.

"Shocked? You should be." said the other-Draco.

"Who are you?" asked Draco.

"I am you." answered the other-Draco simply. Behind the lenses of the sunglasses that Draco wears, the other-Draco has blood red eyes.

'Its a shadow." said Ezo in fear.

"Yes, I may be a shadow. But I am the true me. You-" The shadow pointed his finger to Draco. "Are just the outer layer. You want to be cool so that others will admire you, right? And what's about all the hairdo and the glasses? You are just a show off."

"No, that's not true...." said Draco while clutching his head. "YOU ARE NOT ME!"

At these words, Draco collapsed and Kite went beside him. The shadow gave out an eerie laugh.

"He will no longer be required. I will dispose of this fake myself." said the shadow as blue coloured flames surrounded his feet.

"AHAHAHAHA!" Laughed the shadow as the blue flames enveloped it. When the flames died down, it turned into a giant metallic red lion.

"Goodbye, self!" said the shadow in an almighty voice. It raised its paw showing massive claws.

"It wont end like this!" said Kite. A card appeared and floated in front of him.

"I call upon thee to lend me power!" shouted Kite as he crushed the card with his hand. The fragments of the card flew behind Kite and formed to a figure. It had blue messy hair, it was wearing a red coloured mask, it had black wings sprouting from its back, it was wearing black coloured battle armour. In its hand was a giant crescent pole arm.

"I am thou, and thou art I. I am Masker of the Fool." said the figure as it floated behind Kite, who stood there in a punching pose. "I shall accompany thou still the end."

"Is that.... a Persona?" said Ezo.

"Masker." Kite pointed his finger towards the shadow-Draco. "Cleave!"

To be continued......

Credits:

Kite, Ezo - Self generated characters
Draco - Dracoplasm



Too much dialogue, hardly any description and too many carbon copies of Persona.

2/10

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steveking99
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Posts: 963
Joined: Mon Jun 15, 2009 10:23 pm
Location: Southern California

Re: The Chronicles Of Arcana : Chapter 3

Postby steveking99 » Sat Mar 06, 2010 5:49 pm

Zaylo wrote:
pvtsharp wrote:*Stretches back* OK, let's start working on it.

Registration
Chapter 1
Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Draco and Kite were falling down... down... down....

"Ow!" shouted Draco as he landed to the floor. Kite also landed right beside him.

"What the..." said Draco as he stood up. "Whoa...."

The sky was red with black clouds. Kite and Draco were on some kind of platform. It was foggy and they couldn't see anything downwards, the only thing they could see was the eerie sky.

"Erm....." Draco was stunned, he never thought the glitch could lead to this. And the 1st thing he said to Kite was: "How do we get out of here?"

Kite shook his head.

"Damn! Shouldn't have tried that glitch." shouted Draco. "We better find a way out before-"

Draco stopped at mid-sentence. Some of the fog had cleared and there was a doorway right beside them.

"That wasn't there a minute ago." said Draco. "Let's try it, it's better than being stuck here."

They entered the doorway and they saw Henesys High, or a very bloody version of it. The roof was stained with blood. Some structures were broken. Draco stood in front of it with his mouth gaping open.

"SCHOOL?" shouted Draco. "We better find a way out, come on Kite-"

He stopped again as he heard a voice coming from nowhere, and everywhere.

"Why do these students have to come into my life? They are a darn nuisance! I hope they all perish!"

"Wait a minute.. that's Professor Gred's voice." exclaimed Draco. "You know the one that died at school. But it cant be.... she was a kind teacher. How could she say such a thing?"

Just as he finished talking he was knocked sideways by something. After knocking down Draco, the creature started attacking Draco.

"LEMME -OUCH- GO!" shouted Draco as Kite ran forwards to help Draco. After few minutes of struggling, Kite was pinning down the creature. It was a pure white wolf which was slightly smaller in size. And it was talking.

"Weak shadows, let me go!" said the wolf in a girl's voice. "Hey wait, your not a shadow...."

Feeling that the danger has passed, Kite let go.

"What are you?" said the wolf.

"We're humans for your information." said Draco as he cracked his knuckles. "And why did you attack me"

"I thought you were a shadow so I attacked you." said the wolf in shame.

"What's a shadow?" asked Kite.

"They are beings created from the Darkness." explained the wolf. "Oh ya! My name in Ezo, what's yours?"

"I'm Draco and he's Kite." said Draco.

'It's a long time since any humans came here. Last one was the female teacher who got killed by her own shadow." said Ezo.

"Killed by her own shadow?" asked Draco.

"Yes, humans that have suppressed egos will normally meet their doom here." explained Ezo. "Their suppressed egos turn into shadows that will kill the original person if they don't accept the shadow as part of them."

"OK, enough explaining, now tell u show to get out of here and I may spare you." said Draco.

"Maybe you should stop acting cool." said a voice from behind them. All three of them turned towards the source of the voice and they saw..... another Draco.

"Shocked? You should be." said the other-Draco.

"Who are you?" asked Draco.

"I am you." answered the other-Draco simply. Behind the lenses of the sunglasses that Draco wears, the other-Draco has blood red eyes.

'Its a shadow." said Ezo in fear.

"Yes, I may be a shadow. But I am the true me. You-" The shadow pointed his finger to Draco. "Are just the outer layer. You want to be cool so that others will admire you, right? And what's about all the hairdo and the glasses? You are just a show off."

"No, that's not true...." said Draco while clutching his head. "YOU ARE NOT ME!"

At these words, Draco collapsed and Kite went beside him. The shadow gave out an eerie laugh.

"He will no longer be required. I will dispose of this fake myself." said the shadow as blue coloured flames surrounded his feet.

"AHAHAHAHA!" Laughed the shadow as the blue flames enveloped it. When the flames died down, it turned into a giant metallic red lion.

"Goodbye, self!" said the shadow in an almighty voice. It raised its paw showing massive claws.

"It wont end like this!" said Kite. A card appeared and floated in front of him.

"I call upon thee to lend me power!" shouted Kite as he crushed the card with his hand. The fragments of the card flew behind Kite and formed to a figure. It had blue messy hair, it was wearing a red coloured mask, it had black wings sprouting from its back, it was wearing black coloured battle armour. In its hand was a giant crescent pole arm.

"I am thou, and thou art I. I am Masker of the Fool." said the figure as it floated behind Kite, who stood there in a punching pose. "I shall accompany thou still the end."

"Is that.... a Persona?" said Ezo.

"Masker." Kite pointed his finger towards the shadow-Draco. "Cleave!"

To be continued......

Credits:

Kite, Ezo - Self generated characters
Draco - Dracoplasm



Too much dialogue, hardly any description and too many carbon copies of Persona.

2/10

Thats harsh.

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EmberSparks
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Re: The Chronicles Of Arcana : Chapter 3

Postby EmberSparks » Sun Mar 07, 2010 7:12 am

Yea, much too similar to Persona.
5/10

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playa4life01
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Re: The Chronicles Of Arcana : Chapter 3

Postby playa4life01 » Sun Mar 07, 2010 11:50 am

i dunt know what persona is soooo
I DUN CARE!!!!!! (redface)

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EmberSparks
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Re: The Chronicles Of Arcana : Chapter 3

Postby EmberSparks » Fri Mar 12, 2010 4:28 am

I don't like Persona.
Final Fantasy is better.

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Dracoplasm
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Posts: 1970
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Re: The Chronicles Of Arcana : Chapter 3

Postby Dracoplasm » Sat Mar 13, 2010 1:32 am

i Like FFX 10 the best =D

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EmberSparks
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Re: The Chronicles Of Arcana : Chapter 3

Postby EmberSparks » Sun Mar 14, 2010 7:48 am

Lets not get off topic, ok?

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Dracoplasm
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Re: The Chronicles Of Arcana : Chapter 3

Postby Dracoplasm » Sun Mar 28, 2010 12:50 am

Ok anyways when u posting Chapter 4?
and i rate this 5/10 cuz too much persona like

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MsMeowzers
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Re: The Chronicles Of Arcana : Chapter 3

Postby MsMeowzers » Sun Mar 28, 2010 2:15 am

He said he was too lazy.

But we have plenty other ones.

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playa4life01
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Re: The Chronicles Of Arcana : Chapter 3

Postby playa4life01 » Sun Mar 28, 2010 9:47 pm

why do ppl always stop writing the ff's i want to read (F4)

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EmberSparks
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Re: The Chronicles Of Arcana : Chapter 3

Postby EmberSparks » Thu May 13, 2010 6:30 am

playa4life01 wrote:why do ppl always stop writing the ff's i want to read (F4)

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EternalSorrow
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Re: The Chronicles Of Arcana : Chapter 3

Postby EternalSorrow » Fri Jun 11, 2010 5:07 pm

EmberSparks wrote:
playa4life01 wrote:why do ppl always stop writing the ff's i want to read (F4)

RESTART this ff

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playa4life01
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Re: The Chronicles Of Arcana : Chapter 3

Postby playa4life01 » Mon Aug 02, 2010 3:48 pm

EternalSorrow wrote:
EmberSparks wrote:
playa4life01 wrote:why do ppl always stop writing the ff's i want to read (F4)

RESTART this ff


maybe iff you press the restart button on ur comp itll work? =o
lets try th..


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