Lost in Time Chapter 1

[1LastBreath]

Once in Henesys,Adam and his friends Gator,Ben and Avothe.
"School sucks" Gator mentioned
"I know" Ben said
"Why don't we go to Ant Tunnel"? I said
"What about school dude"? Avothe said
"Who needs school" Gator said
"Everyone"! Avothe said
As we walked to the cab the guy was like
"Sleepywood,Ha I only take to Ellinia".
We went along with it and ran away when he asked for the money.We walked up to the biggest tree that always grew and jumped off the cliff to Sleepywood.As we walked in Ant Tunnel we went to Gator's house to use his teleporter to get our weapons because we didn't have time to get the stuff.I got my Demon Sickle,Ben's Doughnut,Avothe's Sword and Gator's stuff.Then,we went to Ant Tunnel and we killed some balrogs and a Zombie Mushmom and Gator found a crack in the wall and he touched it.
"Woaaahhhh" Gator said
The crack had opened and we were pulled in to the crack in dimension...


We were in a space time travel thing and we ended up at our high school...in 1985.
"Class of 1985" I read.
"My mom went to school here in 1985"! Gator said
As we walked through the school I say lots of people who I reconized.When we got close to our teacher the vision blurred,the walls cracked people dissapeared and it soon hit me the crack had been shut and we were lost in time in 1985.We were all scared,the crack had been closed we were stuck in Henesys 1985 and the fact that no communcation was available to call 25 years ahead into the future.
"Whatever noob closed the crack is going to die when I get out of here". Ben said furiously
Then,my cell rang I picked up and said "Hello"?
The voice on the other side was crackly and crisp.
"lost in time,I see" said the voice.
I remembered that voice it was the jock kid from Henesys High,Conan.
"What did you do this time Conan"? I said.
"just having some fun messing with time" he said
"open the crack again Conan"! I said
"no why should I you make fun of me your friends have jobs your an Aran,Gator's a Night Lord,Avothe's a Paladin,Ben in a Hermit." he said
"your a cry baby junior head football player soon to be warrior get a hold on yourself you wimp"! I said
"see what I mean,you and your wretched friends will be happy in 1985". he said
"just c'mon man I promise to be nice"? I said sarcastically
"No,I'm sure Kate wouldn't mind a new boyfriend either hmm see you in 25 years". he said
We need to get out of here fast or I will get kicked out of my job and Kate will like Conan I have to hurry.
I ran ahead to find a way to get back to Henesys 2010.



hoped you liked it chapter 2 shoould be coming soom rate 1-10 say what you liked or didn't and ill be sure to fix in chapter 2

~Adam~

[jonlin]

since indents don't work, double space.

A little more Detail

Grammar/Spelling.

Overall eh, 7/10

[1LastBreath]

thx Jonlin so you want the next chapter?????

[jonlin]

lol yes I do

[Gatorade]

Should

have

some

of

these.

To be honest your grammer sucked.

6/10 overall.

"My mom went to school here in 1985"! Gator said

When it should be: "My mom has gone to school here in 1985!" ,Gator exclaimed

[jonlin]

Should

have

some

of

these.

To be honest your grammer sucked.

6/10 overall.

"My mom went to school here in 1985"! Gator said

When it should be: "My mom has gone to school here in 1985!" ,Gator exclaimed

Let me say a few things...

I already said everything important you said above.
and said is acceptable in that case, it's not a 'it should(must or I'll flame you) be' or all you are is a tyrant
Also, you already made a whole thread around this issue, no need to spam more about it just to increase your f***ing post count -.-

[1LastBreath]

thx for the information Jonlin now ima write it tommorow or saturday

[1LastBreath]

Should

have

some

of

these.

To be honest your grammer sucked.

6/10 overall.

"My mom went to school here in 1985"! Gator said

When it should be: "My mom has gone to school here in 1985!" ,Gator exclaimed

Dude wth it would be my mom went to school here if we were in 1985 genious ???!!!!!