The Prophecy Prologue

[crutchfield]

~Criticize me. This is my first FF.

Mizuki and Shibunkin charge into the temple where the figures in the robes took Kichiro. "I'm coming Kichiro!" yells Mizuki as they approach the ring of priests. "emoc sah mod. raen si dne eht." chant the priests. A strange ray of violet light beams down on the ring and the stone table in the center.

"It's Kichiro!" cries Mizuki as she realizes Kichiro is tied to the table in the center of the ring. A bolt of lightning strikes downwards into the center of the ring. Creating a crater in the ground where Kichiro once lay. "This can't be happening! Why are you doing this?" she screamed.

"It is the will of the gods. To restore power to the King of Darkness we must rid of this fool's soul." the figure with the cross on their robe says. Black smoke begins to flow out of the crater. Out of the smoke flies a chunk of Earth and knocks Mizuki to the ground. "It can't end like this. no... it can't end now..." whispers Mizuki, wheezing.

"No! Don't die! You can't die Mizuki!" Shibunkin pleads. "I'm sorry I couldn't help you. Please make sure you... protect yourself..." She whispers to Shibunkin. More rubble is tossed about through the smoke. "Goodbye, Mizuki." He whispers back and gives her a small kiss. She shuts her eyes and her breathing ceases.

Shibunkin turns to the smoke where a large figure is now appearing. "This is because of you! You're the reason she's dead!" He screams as he charges into the smoke with his sword held in both hands.

~End of Prologue

[Gatorade]

I

Think

it

needs

this

when a character talks

[jonlin]

well its good,

but your grammar is pretty off,

and that is the most generic storyline ever.

*sacrifice someone for dark XXX and then main char wants revenge*

[crutchfield]

well its good,

but your grammar is pretty off,

and that is the most generic storyline ever.

*sacrifice someone for dark XXX and then main char wants revenge*

True.

[pvtsharp]

But i thought zaylo's own sister would be off limits?

But anyways.... your good at FF writing... go on.... i wanna see chapter 1.

[EmberSparks]

6/10.
Cliched, but good start for a story.