Tree Of Origin : Chapter 1

[pvtsharp]

Oh man, at last got 2 people signed up.
And Ember, that new avatar of yours can make people sick, just a suggestion anyways.

Chapter 1 : Darkness Spreading

"Master, did you sense that?" said a black-robed person, he had a mask on his face, the only parts of his body that were exposed is his eyes, they were blood red. He also had a katana slung over his back.

"Yes...... I feel some dark magic flowing to the town from the direction of the excavation site." said Dances With Balrog.

"Should I go investigate it, master?" the black-robed person asked. "Anyways I am the guardian of Perion."

"No, I need your help on one other issue, my dear freind Craven." Dances With Balrog replied. "I need you to help me judge the newcomer right outside the door."

Right outside the Perion Temple, a beginner with messy blue hair was trying to push the door open. "How do you push this damn thing open?"

Craven Lee opened the door with one hand and the beginner went rolling into the temple.

"Hmph, a weakling." snorted Craven in disgust. "And I thought warriors are supposed to be strong."

"What do you mean by weakling? You're the one with the weirdo mask!" shouted the beginner.

The Craven and the beginner were arguing until Dances With Balrog told them to stop.

"Come here, newcomer. And what is your name?" said Dances With Blarog. The beginner walked towards Dances With Balrog, his face still red as the evening sky. Craven looked disgusted.

"My name is Rathmire and I am here to apply to become a warrior." said the beginner.

"Very well, you are suitable to be a warrior. You even have the courage to stand up to the Perion Guardian." said Dances With Balrog. He dubbed Rathmire on the shoulders with his spear.

"Thank you teacher." Rathmire stood up after a golden orb enveloped his body, he felt stronger. "Do you have anything to assign me to?"

"Oh yes, I do have one assignment. Take this sword." Dances With Balrog gave Rathmire a wooden katana. "Can you help me check out the Perion excavation site? Report to me of any abnormalties."

"Yes sir." said Rathmire as he went out the temple.

"Craven." said Dances With Blarog. "Follow Rathmire and only show yourself when he is in critical danger."

"Yes...... sir." Craven said unwillingly.

"Just make sure he doesn't get into trouble." said Dances With Balrog as Craven exited the temple.

**********

It was sunny as usual at Victoria Island. Everyone was training as usual.

But, dark clouds started to cover up the sun. Everyone looked up.

"It is going to rain?"
"Thats never happened before."
"Something must have happened."

Everyone was dicussing among themselves. But little did they notice, something was glowing like a fire in the middle of Sleepywood.

The archers and theives have notice something as they were the most sensitive to climate changes.

**********

Craven, Rathmire and the other survivors were hiding inside the Perion Weapon Shop. Black Wing members were invading the town.

On the top of the Perion Temple, Dances With Balrog was being held up by the neck by the Black Magician with one hand.

"You think you could defeat me?" laughed the Dark Magician. "Even Aran couldn't!"

"You..... will...... pay....... for....... this....... -ARRRRR!" shouted Dances With Balrog as the Black Magician thrust a dark matter spear into him. He was still. The Black Magician threw Dances With Balrog's body down the cliff.

Almost all of the 30 survivors in the weapon shop were holding back Craven from rushing up to the temple.

"LET ME GO! MASTER!!!! NO!!!" he shouted as he saw Dances With Balrog's body fell to the floor and broke apart into multiple pieces. Luckily, the Dark Wings' footsteps were so loud that they never noticed Craven scream.
Rathmire was so shocked that he stood there without a sound.

"Now my army, Perion has fallen, onto Kerning! Muahahahaha." The Black Magician commanded. "Soon, the world shall be mine!"

**********

The Dark Lord and his students were running to Henesys to tell Athena Pierce what had happened. Some of the thiefs went to Nautilis, Ellinia, and Lith Harbour.

Soon , a plan was made by the Dark Lord, Athena Pierce, Grendel and Kyrin. Everybody was to evecuate Victoria immediately.

To be continued......

[EmberSparks]

Better than the last FF, i'll give it a 7/10....

[pvtsharp]

Better than the last FF, i'll give it a 7/10....

Oh thks a lot Ember, but why did you change your avatar again?
Mine is D.gray man characters now. *obsessed with D.gray man*
Maybe you should sign up?
I am running out of characters again.

[EmberSparks]

Signed up.
And rate my FF please.

[Zaylo]

Oh man, at last got 2 people signed up.
And Ember, that new avatar of yours can make people sick, just a suggestion anyways.

Chapter 1 : Darkness Spreading

"Master, did you sense that?" said a black-robed person, he had a mask on his face, the only parts of his body that were exposed is his eyes, they were blood red. He also had a katana slung over his back.

"Yes...... I feel some dark magic flowing to the town from the direction of the excavation site." said Dances With Balrog.

"Should I go investigate it, master?" the black-robed person asked. "Anyways I am the guardian of Perion."

"No, I need your help on one other issue, my dear freind Craven." Dances With Balrog replied. "I need you to help me judge the newcomer right outside the door."

Right outside the Perion Temple, a beginner with messy blue hair was trying to push the door open. "How do you push this damn thing open?"

Craven Lee opened the door with one hand and the beginner went rolling into the temple.

"Hmph, a weakling." snorted Craven in disgust. "And I thought warriors are supposed to be strong."

"What do you mean by weakling? You're the one with the weirdo mask!" shouted the beginner.

The Craven and the beginner were arguing until Dances With Balrog told them to stop.

"Come here, newcomer. And what is your name?" said Dances With Blarog. The beginner walked towards Dances With Balrog, his face still red as the evening sky. Craven looked disgusted.

"My name is Rathmire and I am here to apply to become a warrior." said the beginner.

"Very well, you are suitable to be a warrior. You even have the courage to stand up to the Perion Guardian." said Dances With Balrog. He dubbed Rathmire on the shoulders with his spear.

"Thank you teacher." Rathmire stood up after a golden orb enveloped his body, he felt stronger. "Do you have anything to assign me to?"

"Oh yes, I do have one assignment. Take this sword." Dances With Balrog gave Rathmire a wooden katana. "Can you help me check out the Perion excavation site? Report to me of any abnormalties."

"Yes sir." said Rathmire as he went out the temple.

"Craven." said Dances With Blarog. "Follow Rathmire and only show yourself when he is in critical danger."

"Yes...... sir." Craven said unwillingly.

"Just make sure he doesn't get into trouble." said Dances With Balrog as Craven exited the temple.

**********

It was sunny as usual at Victoria Island. Everyone was training as usual.

But, dark clouds started to cover up the sun. Everyone looked up.

"It is going to rain?"
"Thats never happened before."
"Something must have happened."

Everyone was dicussing among themselves. But little did they notice, something was glowing like a fire in the middle of Sleepywood.

The archers and theives have notice something as they were the most sensitive to climate changes.

**********

Craven, Rathmire and the other survivors were hiding inside the Perion Weapon Shop. Black Wing members were invading the town.

On the top of the Perion Temple, Dances With Balrog was being held up by the neck by the Black Magician with one hand.

"You think you could defeat me?" laughed the Dark Magician. "Even Aran couldn't!"

"You..... will...... pay....... for....... this....... -ARRRRR!" shouted Dances With Balrog as the Black Magician thrust a dark matter spear into him. He was still. The Black Magician threw Dances With Balrog's body down the cliff.

Almost all of the 30 survivors in the weapon shop were holding back Craven from rushing up to the temple.

"LET ME GO! MASTER!!!! NO!!!" he shouted as he saw Dances With Balrog's body fell to the floor and broke apart into multiple pieces. Luckily, the Dark Wings' footsteps were so loud that they never noticed Craven scream.
Rathmire was so shocked that he stood there without a sound.

"Now my army, Perion has fallen, onto Kerning! Muahahahaha." The Black Magician commanded. "Soon, the world shall be mine!"

**********

The Dark Lord and his students were running to Henesys to tell Athena Pierce what had happened. Some of the thiefs went to Nautilis, Ellinia, and Lith Harbour.

Soon , a plan was made by the Dark Lord, Athena Pierce, Grendel and Kyrin. Everybody was to evecuate Victoria immediately.

To be continued......

Meh, Zaylo doesnt show emotions. He only shows the joy of bloodshed.

ANYWAYS

Decent, id give it a 5/10, minor errors but hopefully you can fix them.

[jonlin]

Meh, Zaylo doesnt show emotions.

Right... he just says *sadface* and *happyface* lol xD


anyways I liked it :D but I'm a noob.... :/ hmmm

[poke1024]

well, it kinda skips a bit after the gaurdian leaves

[synn90210]

hmm could be worse i guess 6/10

[EmberSparks]

Use spelling check. And try typing it up in Microsoft Word, copy and paste it here then post. That way you can avoid errors.