Vampire's Life,Ch3

[MsMeowzers]

*I think I improved.Please don't rate.*
..."She's probally having a nightmare," I thought to myself.

...The next day,Shizuka was gone.I grabbed my sword and walked away from the Academy,to find Shizuka.I later encountered a vampire,My same age,looking at Shizuka,who was tied up to a pole.It was at the entrance to Zakum's Altar.She was Over Lava!
"Get away from her!" I yelled,swinging my sword.I wouldn't even let this guy brandish me.I charged up my Dragon Roar.
"Hmmph,"said the voice.He tried to use Dark Sight,but It was too late.
The Vampire was struck by my sword.Then Shizuka started to sing something.
"Kiafa hynne mea?Pagle tes yor," Shizuka sang.Could it be?She was singing Faca?There was no way!
"Shizuka will sing whatever I tell her now.She is now mine," said the vampire,pulling my sword out of his chest.He started to put up a shadow partner.
"You are Crouix Hyaner, aren't you?" I asked,swinging my sword again.I was prepared to strike him again.I would NOT let him touch Shizuka again.
He laughed,his hair flipping down.
"Why how did you know it w-"
Crouix fell down,his neck with two scars.I stared at him.I only hit him ONCE!Wait a second...
..."...Kiafa hynne mea,sarla na layy,Ar knawa mea," Shizuka continued.Faca helped her by releasing her from the ropes,and striking Crouix.
I then stabbed Crouix,leaving my sword in him,it covered in his blood.Before I did,I charged my power strike.
Shizuka then finished Faca.I shoved the body towards her,saying "Drink the blood."
She replied ok,then she put out her fangs.She then bit him,closing her eyes hard.She hasn't drank blood in awhile.But why would she drink blood from someone dead?She usually drinks live blood.She then looked at me.
"If you drank my blood,wouldn't I then drink your blood,then I wouldn't have to drink this cold blood?" she asked,walking over to me.
"Don't be silly.You know you are part human too.Your mana wouldn't accept it," I said."Lets go to Kerning City and talk to Zero."

..."I dont like the feeling of this," said Shizuka.We were at Sleepywood now.Thats when we ran across some adventurers.I had to resist the thirst of bood.They were talking about Horn Tail.
"Didn't you hear?Horn Tail is loose!" said one.
Thats when we left.We finally made it to Kerning.However,we had to be on the lookout.Who knows when a theif may come.With their haste,dark sight,shadow partner,and fast skills,we could be killed!We then heard a bishop yell,"GENISIS!"
Me and Shizuka ran.Then I used Meteor Shower."No one here," I said.I ran with Shizuka.We flash jumped,then we started to fly.Then Shizuka fell down.
Thats when I saw 6 steelies coming after me.I was struck.
Falling,falling.Motionless.How did this happen?I was looking all around at the time.I was then knocked out.I was on the street,laying there.I felt all my mana drowned out.My body wouldn't move.
...About a day later,a friendly thief came by.She helped us.She fed us dango,teryaki chicken,and rice."Thank you," I said.She then took off the mask.My memory came back.It was Kiwa!Was she a actual theif?

TO BE CONTIUNED.....(Maybe not,if people keep on saying its bad and I should stop like *cough* LeoWu *cough*)
Note:Three periods at the beginning of a paraghraph is a indent.

[jonlin]

just double space instead of indenting. much easier.

[LeoWu]

Ugh.
*Shakes head*

.....

PLEASE at the end Delete the "To be Continued"
and put "I will not write anymore cause I suck"
Ty.

[Gatorade]

Lol man that's cold...

[synn90210]

oh my god T.T another one? seriously?

[MsMeowzers]

I WILL STOP IF ANY HARD CRITISIM COMES TOWARDS ME.
Jonlin,I don't mind yours,but Leo's and others I HATE.
Jonlin actually helps me.Everyone else criticizes me hard.
LEAVE MY FANFICS.
These are people I want out.

Ugh.
*Shakes head*

.....

PLEASE at the end Delete the "To be Continued"
and put "I will not write anymore cause I suck"
Ty.

oh my god T.T another one? seriously?

[pvtsharp]

Oh, interesting.

Just a bit hard to see. Maybe you should put paragraghs.

It should get a 6/10 while mine only 3/10.

[MsMeowzers]

I don't know how to indent.
Don't have Microsoft Word.
Isn't it tab on wordpad?._.

[jonlin]

ummmm phpBB3 deletes any extra spaces. therefore when writing a story on this type of forum you must double space.

[EmberSparks]

Wait there was a Ch3? I never knew about it, damn!

[pvtsharp]

Wait there was a Ch3? I never knew about it, damn!

LOL you're slow.

[EmberSparks]

Wait there was a Ch3? I never knew about it, damn!

LOL you're slow.

.... what should I be sad about.